


we laid our dead in sacred ground

by amosanguis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Healing, M/M, OTP: i'm pointing right at it, abuse of parentheses, otp: it suits you, title from a country song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn stares as the ship burns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outruntheavalanche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/gifts).



> \--Title from "Home" by Dierks Bentley  
> \--Chapter 1 is Finn's POV, the 2nd is Poe's.  
> \--For bae who wanted angsty sadness.

-z-

 

It scares Finn how if Poe said, “Stay” – he would.

 

-x-

 

Finn stares as the ship burns.

Then he’s shouting, “Run!” and he’s pulling against Rey’s grip on his jacket.  “ _Run!_ ”

And firelight dances in Finn’s eyes as he watches the ship fall to earth.

 

-x-

 

There’s nothing left for them to bury, but all of the Resistance still lands on Yavin 4.  Finn goes with Rey and the General and BB-8 to find Poe’s grandfather.

“I’m sorry,” General Organa says to an elderly man, he’s hunched but still seems to stand tall.  “There was nothing that could have been done.”

(Finn sees fire and hears himself shouting “ _Run!_ ”)

“It must have been serious if the General herself comes to offer condolences,” the old man says, his tone not quite accusing but terse nonetheless.

Finn flinches when Rey suddenly spits out, “Well, if you don’t want us here we’ll leave.”

(“ _Run!_ ”)

The General holds her hand up, says, “Enough.  Sir, we’ll leave you alone – let you grieve.”  And she’s just turning away when the old man’s hand gently lands on her arm.

“Wait,” he says.  “Just, please.  Wait.  Come inside.”

 

-

 

(“Stay?” Finn asks, his words slurred and unsure – and Poe grins, stumbles back to Finn’s bed.

“Will you still respect me in the morning?” Poe asks, but he’s grinning and his eyes are wide and he tastes _so good_.  Finn doesn’t know the meaning behind a lot of what Poe says to him – cultural minutiae he’s still trying to catch up on – so he fakes it.

“Of course,” he says, because that seems like the right answer.  Because he’ll always respect Poe – no matter what may come – he’ll always respect (maybe, _love_ ) him.

(Except that Poe is gone the next morning and the next time they see each other there are red lights flashing and warning sirens are blaring and then fire and then “ _Run!_ ”))

 

-

 

“How did you know my grandson?” the old man asks.

Finn pointedly doesn’t startle from where he’d been lost in his own thoughts, just looks up from his folded hands.  “We saved each other,” he says; his words sound clipped and cold even to his own ears – like he’s giving a report.  “He gave me my name.”

“And what did he name you?” he asks.

(“Fuck you, Dameron,” Finn huffs, trying to walk just one more step.

“Gotta catch me first.”)

“Finn,” Finn answers, he glances at Rey before he looks back down at his hands.

“‘Finn’?” he rolls the name on his tongue, before he nods.  “It suits you.”

“Yeah,” Finn says, standing suddenly, “I like it.”

(“ _Run!_ ”)

 

-x-

 

“We’re gonna be okay,” Rey says, curling up next to Finn.  She lets him put his head under her chin, lets him hide from the world.  She has one arm under his head and the other rubbing soothing circles on his back.  “We’re gonna be okay,” she says again, and this time he’s not entirely sure who she’s talking too.

“Stay?” he asks, because this intimacy – this comfort – it’s all he wants in the universe right now.

“Of course, Finn,” she says, her arms coming around him completely and holding him so, so tight as she presses a kiss first to his forehead, then to his cheek, then to his lips.

(“Stay?”)

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says.

 

-x-

 

Rey hadn’t loved Poe like Finn had (did – still _does_ ).  But she loves Finn – wants him to have everything a human is supposed to, she wants him to know all the things a typical human is supposed to.  She wants him to have a life and, with single-minded determination – she builds one around him.

“I want you to be happy,” she says.

He smiles at her, says, “I am.”

And when he’s able, he pretends he doesn’t have nightmares about screaming “ _Run!_ ” even as firelight blinds him to all else.

 

-z-

 

End.


	2. Chapter 2

-z-

 

It scares Poe how if Finn said, “Run” – he would.

 

-x-

 

Poe stares as Finn laughs.

He’s bright and beautiful.

“Stay here,” Poe says, clapping Finn carefully on the back as he eyes the horizon.  “I’ll be right back.”

 

-x-

 

Finn is beautiful even as he grits his teeth, says, “Fuck you, Dameron.”

Poe holds his smile and doesn’t move from the end of the hallway.  “Gotta catch me first,” he says.

“God _damnit_ ,” Finn snarls.  Sweat beads on his forehead and, carefully, slowly, he takes another step forward – no help from the nurse droid hovering nervously.

“Attaboy,” Poe says.  “Keep comin’.”

 

-x-

 

Poe takes Finn’s education into being A Normal Human very seriously.  He starts from the ground up – tells him about birthdays and music and dancing; he shows him how to read facial and social cues outside of combat situations; helps him discover which alcohol he likes best and how to pace himself.

He shows him how to come down from a panic attack.

And when Snap comes up behind Finn and Finn instinctually reacts by throwing Snap to the floor and breaking his wrist in several places – Poe talks to Finn in a low and soothing voice for an hour.

(“I’m not mad,” he says.

“I acted outside of orders,” Finn says, eyes completely blank and his back ramrod straight in a way it hasn’t been since a lightsaber had torn through it.  “I’m sorry.  It won’t happen again.”

“I’m not mad,” Poe says again, fighting against his anger – getting angry at the First Order would solve nothing, it certainly wouldn’t help Finn any.  “I’m not mad you, Finn.  You’re not in trouble.  It’s okay.”

“But I acted outside of orders,” Finn says, his eyebrows furrowing – and there’s finally a flash of _something_ and Poe latches onto it.

“Yes, you did,” he says, “it’s okay.”

“But, I—”

“I _know_ ,” Poe said, gripping Finn’s shoulders and shaking him.  “I _know_ and it’s _okay_.”

There’s a tense moment where suddenly Poe isn’t entirely sure what’ll happen next.  But then, Finn says, “Okay.”

“Attaboy,” Poe says, relief thick in his voice as he puts his forehead to Finn’s.)

 

-x-

 

“Stay?” Finn asks – as if Poe could ever say no.

 

-x-

 

“There has to be another way,” Rey shouts.

“Take care of Finn for me,” Poe says, flipping three switches to his right and one to his left.  There was so much he had left to say.

“Please, don’t do this,” Rey says, choking.

Poe whirls on her, holds a blaster to her forehead.  It’s nothing but a gesture – he’s no real threat to her and they both know it.  It’s nothing but a gesture but he still sees the way it wounds her.

“Get out,” he says.

 

-

 

Poe fakes his surrender and sits in the captain’s chair until the First Order has completely boarded his ship—

(“Attaboy.”)

—then he hits the big red button—

(“Stay?”)

—and then there’s nothing.

 

-z-

 

End.


End file.
